Saturday, May 30, 2009

Time

I've had time on my mind (not too much time on my hands though.) This week we talked about time in the wilderness as part of our Transitions workshop. As we move through the transitions in our lives, we often lament ... I just wish this were over and I could get on with my life. But the catch is, this is your life - at least it's part of your life. It's your life right now.

The wilderness is that middle part of transition after something has ended, but before something new is in place. What will it be like, we wonder. What's next for me? The questions dance in our heads. But there is a season of waiting. Hurry up, we cry. Others inquire of us, what's taking so long? The questions may go unanswered.

One participant in our workshop is in a double transition. She was laid-off from her job and her daughter is preparing to enter the Air Force Academy next month. However, the job loss has gifted her with time to be with her daughter these final weeks at home. A mixed blessing, as is often the case with transitions.

What is your relationship with time? Do you use it, waste it, make it, spend it? One realization I had during a wilderness experience was how unaware I can be of time. Until something disrupts our routines, we may not even be aware of how we use our time.

As part of an Artist's Way workshop I took, we participated in a week-long media deprivation with no tv, no radio, no music, no movies, no computer, no reading! Going into the week, I thought I'd go crazy. Coming out of it, I was amazed at how much I accomplished because I had all this extra time! But I was still only given 24 hours each day. What made the difference? My need to consciously choose what I was going to do instead of watch tv, listen to music or check my emails.

What is your awareness of time and are you consciously choosing how you use it? Maybe you need some time to think about your answers. Go ahead - take all the time you need.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Letting Go

Maybe it's not the new beginning that frightens us as much as the process needed to embrace it. The 3 step process of change begins with the end and ends with the beginning; but, oh, that anxiety-producing middle step of not knowing the what or when creates tension.

We're waiting in the place with names like, the wilderness, void, middle-muddle, even neutral zone, and that doesn't sound like a place we want to be. We prefer to go directly to the next chapter of life. We don't understand why we need to spend time - and time is the issue - in a state of uncertainty. Why can't I just move on?

One reason we can't "just move on" is because often we want to do it without acknowledging what's been left behind. Change begins with the end of something. When we don't identify our old reality, our old identity, we take remnants of it with us. When the Israelites came out of Egypt, they couldn't let go of their identification with Egypt. When they felt challenged by the trek through the wilderness, they kept wanting to return to Egypt and were never able to make it to the Promised Land.

Just as with the birth experience - we can't go back to the womb - so too with transition. We can't go back to the old experience. We must move forward. We must let go of our affiliations with the past, shake off old patterns and routines and prepare for our next experience.

This "letting go" tends to disrupt our idea of new beginnings. We want the new without the work of releasing the old. But it is from the loss of what was that we gain perspective and understanding to move forward into what's next.

Where are you in the change process - letting go, exploring the uncertainty or moving ahead? Wherever you are, there is a path set before you. Take it ... it leads to the adventure called life!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Changes

Life changes, but do we? We try to adapt and adjust, but often it's a facade because we can't, or won't, allow ourselves to embrace the new direction life is taking us. Why is that? Why can't we let go of the old ways that have ended and give ourselves over to a new beginning?

As I came back to my blog page after a 2 month hiatus I thought, it's time for a change. Change isn't easy ... especially with my lack of tech skills. But hey, it's not the same old circles! Changes, new beginnings, do-overs - it's often what we say we want. Let's try it for awhile and see how it fits. Some changes aren't meant to be permanent.