I recently heard a new friend saying that she plans her birthday celebrations far in advance. I was impressed! I often try to ignore mine. We've been conditioned by our culture to avoid aging at all costs. No lines, no wrinkles ... no candles on the birthday cake. While I can appreciate youth's opportunities and the years that stretch before them, I have come to recognize the richness of my own experiences ... although I can feel umbrage rise up when I'm called old!
Our family recently celebrated several birthdays and only one was called significant. Hmm, I wonder that every birthday isn't to be honored as significant. My mother turned 82, quite a milestone. A niece celebrated her 38th, unique in its own way. (I remember my own 38th birthday and smile) However, her father turned the Big 6-O. Those decade markers have taken on a life of their own. The question comes to mind - does how we live the 1-9 years create a more significant zero year? I think so.
I have a birthday coming up. It's not significant as defined by a zero on the end, but it is becoming more significant to me as I understand the value of a life well lived. My husband shared the same birth month as mine. As I think of him, I'm reminded of the examples he set, the character that defined him, and the life lessons he taught me.
As I prepare to celebrate my birthday this year I, too, want to plan ahead. I want to be well thought of after I'm gone. My actions today are creating those memories ... as well as preparing for the next Big-O birthday! This year is a little 3, but it's significant and I plan to treat it with the respect, appreciation and celebration I deserve!
Birthday blessings to all ... whenever it may be.
"Then Samuel took a stone and set it between Mizpah and Shen, and named it Ebenezer, saying 'Thus far the Lord has helped us'" [1 Samuel 7:12]
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Stones of Remembrance
Memorials leave, not just a trail of bread crumbs, but a significant representation of the way it was as we made our way through a particularly difficult season. I was encouraged early in my grief to look for memorial stones that would identify my crossing over, much as the Israelites did when they crossed over the Jordan into the Promised Land. When the suggestion was first made, I couldn't see beyond the immediate moment of pain, much less get a glimpse of any future. But the words I heard that day, when you cross over, dropped into my heart and a tiny seed of hope was planted. It was close to 18 months later before I was able to bring together those stones of remembrance; before I was able to see all that God had provided, just as He had for the Israelites in their wilderness.
There are many lessons in the wilderness ... wherever that wilderness may be. I have also discovered that once I crossed over out of the wilderness of grief, that I had landed in a brand new wilderness! It seems much of life is about the wilderness experience. Are you going through something right now? Begin to look for the provision. Begin to notice who encourages you. Begin to watch for unexpected coincidences. In the midst of things going wrong, what went right? As we begin to look with new eyes it's amazing what we see. And when something catches your eye, take note. These will become your stones of remembrance. When you are asked how you made it through that difficult time, you will be able to point to the stones and tell others how you were helped.
The first stones that I identified were family and friends. It always comes back to the special people in our lives who are there with us through thick and thin. There were many prayers said on my behalf and I believe those helped sustain me. My faith deepened during this season. Music lifted my spirits. My journals contain all I poured out - the pain, the anger, the fears, the anguish. I learned deeper lessons about the transitions in life and how they move us from where we are into the new places we're meant to be. I have 12 small painted stones as reminders of the way the Lord has brought me. I have a vision for the future and confidence that it will come to pass. Look how far I've come!
There are many lessons in the wilderness ... wherever that wilderness may be. I have also discovered that once I crossed over out of the wilderness of grief, that I had landed in a brand new wilderness! It seems much of life is about the wilderness experience. Are you going through something right now? Begin to look for the provision. Begin to notice who encourages you. Begin to watch for unexpected coincidences. In the midst of things going wrong, what went right? As we begin to look with new eyes it's amazing what we see. And when something catches your eye, take note. These will become your stones of remembrance. When you are asked how you made it through that difficult time, you will be able to point to the stones and tell others how you were helped.
The first stones that I identified were family and friends. It always comes back to the special people in our lives who are there with us through thick and thin. There were many prayers said on my behalf and I believe those helped sustain me. My faith deepened during this season. Music lifted my spirits. My journals contain all I poured out - the pain, the anger, the fears, the anguish. I learned deeper lessons about the transitions in life and how they move us from where we are into the new places we're meant to be. I have 12 small painted stones as reminders of the way the Lord has brought me. I have a vision for the future and confidence that it will come to pass. Look how far I've come!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
New Beginnings
I've come a long way over the past two years and find myself now at the starting point of a new journey. I've crossed over the seemingly insurmountable chasm of grief. I lost my father on June 18, 2006 and two days later my husband died. The buffer of shock settled over my brain dousing me in a bath of chemicals that numbed me into a place of coping without feeling the full impact of life's new realities. Based on my belief in God, I saw His hand throughout the processes of both my dad's and my husband's passing, but it has taken a two year journey to come to the place of healed grief. God was calling them home, untying the threads that had been knit together when He made them, but now setting them free to return to their God and Maker. It is the process we will all make one day and I have two beautiful examples of God's gentle leading as the time of death approaches. But for those who remain there is a season of pain and grief.
I've traveled step by step, sometimes moment by moment, through the valley of the shadow of death. I have received many graces and recognize that "surely goodness and mercy have followed me" all these days. Now as I look forward to the new adventures, new acquaintances and new direction life has, I want to give others what I received - HOPE. It was hearing the words that I would cross over that first planted the seeds of hope in my heart. Wherever you are in your journey, please know that it is possible to cross over safely into the next season. For myself, I have chosen to begin again - to start living, start doing and, most importantly, start being. As the fog banks clear up, I want to learn new things. I want to write. My first steps are taking place right here as I use this blog to begin writing in a world outside my own private journals.
It is my hope that some of my experiences will encourage others to recognize the markers on their own life path. It is important to share the stories of transition and transformation as they happen during our own lifetime. Our lives are not meant to be lived in isolation. The lessons we learn have immeasurable value as we share them with others. To learn the lessons of others is great wisdom. May we learn together.
I've traveled step by step, sometimes moment by moment, through the valley of the shadow of death. I have received many graces and recognize that "surely goodness and mercy have followed me" all these days. Now as I look forward to the new adventures, new acquaintances and new direction life has, I want to give others what I received - HOPE. It was hearing the words that I would cross over that first planted the seeds of hope in my heart. Wherever you are in your journey, please know that it is possible to cross over safely into the next season. For myself, I have chosen to begin again - to start living, start doing and, most importantly, start being. As the fog banks clear up, I want to learn new things. I want to write. My first steps are taking place right here as I use this blog to begin writing in a world outside my own private journals.
It is my hope that some of my experiences will encourage others to recognize the markers on their own life path. It is important to share the stories of transition and transformation as they happen during our own lifetime. Our lives are not meant to be lived in isolation. The lessons we learn have immeasurable value as we share them with others. To learn the lessons of others is great wisdom. May we learn together.
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