I've had time on my mind (not too much time on my hands though.) This week we talked about time in the wilderness as part of our Transitions workshop. As we move through the transitions in our lives, we often lament ... I just wish this were over and I could get on with my life. But the catch is, this is your life - at least it's part of your life. It's your life right now.
The wilderness is that middle part of transition after something has ended, but before something new is in place. What will it be like, we wonder. What's next for me? The questions dance in our heads. But there is a season of waiting. Hurry up, we cry. Others inquire of us, what's taking so long? The questions may go unanswered.
One participant in our workshop is in a double transition. She was laid-off from her job and her daughter is preparing to enter the Air Force Academy next month. However, the job loss has gifted her with time to be with her daughter these final weeks at home. A mixed blessing, as is often the case with transitions.
What is your relationship with time? Do you use it, waste it, make it, spend it? One realization I had during a wilderness experience was how unaware I can be of time. Until something disrupts our routines, we may not even be aware of how we use our time.
As part of an Artist's Way workshop I took, we participated in a week-long media deprivation with no tv, no radio, no music, no movies, no computer, no reading! Going into the week, I thought I'd go crazy. Coming out of it, I was amazed at how much I accomplished because I had all this extra time! But I was still only given 24 hours each day. What made the difference? My need to consciously choose what I was going to do instead of watch tv, listen to music or check my emails.
What is your awareness of time and are you consciously choosing how you use it? Maybe you need some time to think about your answers. Go ahead - take all the time you need.
"Then Samuel took a stone and set it between Mizpah and Shen, and named it Ebenezer, saying 'Thus far the Lord has helped us'" [1 Samuel 7:12]
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Letting Go
Maybe it's not the new beginning that frightens us as much as the process needed to embrace it. The 3 step process of change begins with the end and ends with the beginning; but, oh, that anxiety-producing middle step of not knowing the what or when creates tension.
We're waiting in the place with names like, the wilderness, void, middle-muddle, even neutral zone, and that doesn't sound like a place we want to be. We prefer to go directly to the next chapter of life. We don't understand why we need to spend time - and time is the issue - in a state of uncertainty. Why can't I just move on?
One reason we can't "just move on" is because often we want to do it without acknowledging what's been left behind. Change begins with the end of something. When we don't identify our old reality, our old identity, we take remnants of it with us. When the Israelites came out of Egypt, they couldn't let go of their identification with Egypt. When they felt challenged by the trek through the wilderness, they kept wanting to return to Egypt and were never able to make it to the Promised Land.
Just as with the birth experience - we can't go back to the womb - so too with transition. We can't go back to the old experience. We must move forward. We must let go of our affiliations with the past, shake off old patterns and routines and prepare for our next experience.
This "letting go" tends to disrupt our idea of new beginnings. We want the new without the work of releasing the old. But it is from the loss of what was that we gain perspective and understanding to move forward into what's next.
Where are you in the change process - letting go, exploring the uncertainty or moving ahead? Wherever you are, there is a path set before you. Take it ... it leads to the adventure called life!
We're waiting in the place with names like, the wilderness, void, middle-muddle, even neutral zone, and that doesn't sound like a place we want to be. We prefer to go directly to the next chapter of life. We don't understand why we need to spend time - and time is the issue - in a state of uncertainty. Why can't I just move on?
One reason we can't "just move on" is because often we want to do it without acknowledging what's been left behind. Change begins with the end of something. When we don't identify our old reality, our old identity, we take remnants of it with us. When the Israelites came out of Egypt, they couldn't let go of their identification with Egypt. When they felt challenged by the trek through the wilderness, they kept wanting to return to Egypt and were never able to make it to the Promised Land.
Just as with the birth experience - we can't go back to the womb - so too with transition. We can't go back to the old experience. We must move forward. We must let go of our affiliations with the past, shake off old patterns and routines and prepare for our next experience.
This "letting go" tends to disrupt our idea of new beginnings. We want the new without the work of releasing the old. But it is from the loss of what was that we gain perspective and understanding to move forward into what's next.
Where are you in the change process - letting go, exploring the uncertainty or moving ahead? Wherever you are, there is a path set before you. Take it ... it leads to the adventure called life!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Changes
Life changes, but do we? We try to adapt and adjust, but often it's a facade because we can't, or won't, allow ourselves to embrace the new direction life is taking us. Why is that? Why can't we let go of the old ways that have ended and give ourselves over to a new beginning?
As I came back to my blog page after a 2 month hiatus I thought, it's time for a change. Change isn't easy ... especially with my lack of tech skills. But hey, it's not the same old circles! Changes, new beginnings, do-overs - it's often what we say we want. Let's try it for awhile and see how it fits. Some changes aren't meant to be permanent.
As I came back to my blog page after a 2 month hiatus I thought, it's time for a change. Change isn't easy ... especially with my lack of tech skills. But hey, it's not the same old circles! Changes, new beginnings, do-overs - it's often what we say we want. Let's try it for awhile and see how it fits. Some changes aren't meant to be permanent.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Job loss
In the midst of a transition workshop, change happens. While we're here talking about one thing, one of the participants has just received notice that she will be laid off at the end of May. Job loss is becoming one of the most consistent changes right now. Every day the headlines report more businesses downsizing or closing and more jobs being outsourced - right out of the country! Unemployment is at a record high. With those kinds of statistics staring you in the face, how can you ever hope to find another job? And therein might be the key .... are you looking for a job or for work? There's a difference.
You have skills and knowledge and talent that are useful to others. How can you put them to work to benefit both yourself and those who need your services? In our current Transitions group there is another woman who lost her job due to injury. She is physically unable to get a job, but has found work in her own neighborhood - taking care of a special needs child, assisting an aging neighbor and running errands. Running errands is a vital necessity for many people. I work full time. Saturday mornings are spent running all over town picking up what's needed for both my house and my mother's supplies. I also need to investigate alternative solutions for Mom's ongoing dementia care. This is work that needs to be done. My daughter, who lives 400 miles away, is able to help explore various health care options in my area. She's doing the work of initial contact and research.
We confuse getting a job with finding work. I have a friend who lost his job over a year and a half ago. He has the gift mix and skill set to help people through difficult and painful situations and had been using those talents in an organizational environment. After losing his job, he began writing and now has three books in development - one of which is in the final process before being published! He also opened his own coaching/counseling service. He no longer has a "job," but rather has discovered a new expression of his life's work.
We each have something unique to offer that someone else needs. Are you familiar enough with your own special qualities that could be put to work assisting others? My Transition to Transformation workshop is based on the work of William Bridges, who has written books covering both personal and corporate transitions for over thirty years. One of his books is titled, Creating You & Co and is aimed at helping people discover how to find work that brings both satisfaction and support without being limited to a traditional "job." Its first printing was in 1997 when jobs were more plentiful. This book could now become the handbook for those making the transition from job market to work environment.
I recommend the book to any who might be in the discovery process of what I want to do with the rest of my life. To my grandchildren on the brink of adulthood, begin now to discover what qualities, desires and assets you possess that can be developed to become your life's work. To those who've recently lost jobs, first, take a breath. Okay? Next begin to take inventory of the skill set you've developed during your years on the job. How can those abilities be merged, along with your temperament and natural giftings, into a new career?
Did I say career? Yes, I did. Congratulations! You have just been promoted to CEO of You & Co and I have every confidence you will discover a great future ahead of you. God has created and designed us with resilience in our core. As we learn to grieve the loss of what was, come to terms with the empty place we're in and move confidently - one small step at a time - in the direction of our future, we just might find the life we've been hoping for. And to think it came wearing the disguise of "job loss."
Gain out of loss - a faithful promise from the wilderness of transition.
You have skills and knowledge and talent that are useful to others. How can you put them to work to benefit both yourself and those who need your services? In our current Transitions group there is another woman who lost her job due to injury. She is physically unable to get a job, but has found work in her own neighborhood - taking care of a special needs child, assisting an aging neighbor and running errands. Running errands is a vital necessity for many people. I work full time. Saturday mornings are spent running all over town picking up what's needed for both my house and my mother's supplies. I also need to investigate alternative solutions for Mom's ongoing dementia care. This is work that needs to be done. My daughter, who lives 400 miles away, is able to help explore various health care options in my area. She's doing the work of initial contact and research.
We confuse getting a job with finding work. I have a friend who lost his job over a year and a half ago. He has the gift mix and skill set to help people through difficult and painful situations and had been using those talents in an organizational environment. After losing his job, he began writing and now has three books in development - one of which is in the final process before being published! He also opened his own coaching/counseling service. He no longer has a "job," but rather has discovered a new expression of his life's work.
We each have something unique to offer that someone else needs. Are you familiar enough with your own special qualities that could be put to work assisting others? My Transition to Transformation workshop is based on the work of William Bridges, who has written books covering both personal and corporate transitions for over thirty years. One of his books is titled, Creating You & Co and is aimed at helping people discover how to find work that brings both satisfaction and support without being limited to a traditional "job." Its first printing was in 1997 when jobs were more plentiful. This book could now become the handbook for those making the transition from job market to work environment.
I recommend the book to any who might be in the discovery process of what I want to do with the rest of my life. To my grandchildren on the brink of adulthood, begin now to discover what qualities, desires and assets you possess that can be developed to become your life's work. To those who've recently lost jobs, first, take a breath. Okay? Next begin to take inventory of the skill set you've developed during your years on the job. How can those abilities be merged, along with your temperament and natural giftings, into a new career?
Did I say career? Yes, I did. Congratulations! You have just been promoted to CEO of You & Co and I have every confidence you will discover a great future ahead of you. God has created and designed us with resilience in our core. As we learn to grieve the loss of what was, come to terms with the empty place we're in and move confidently - one small step at a time - in the direction of our future, we just might find the life we've been hoping for. And to think it came wearing the disguise of "job loss."
Gain out of loss - a faithful promise from the wilderness of transition.
Friday, March 6, 2009
The Wilderness
Change happens so fast. One minute everything is as we expect and the next minute finds us in absolute turmoil as our lives spin out of control. What happened?
Whether it's an accident, a diagnosis, a sudden death, a pink-slip or any number of other assaults on our psyches, we find ourselves totally unprepared for what's taking place. What do we do? I have a friend who says, "first you breathe." I think first you cry, but I've been told you have to breathe to cry. Ok, I'm not one to quibble. Crying, breathing ... it's all happening so fast.
I facilitate a Transitions workshop that has grown out of my own unexpected change and the lessons learned in the wilderness. What I call the wilderness others call the neutral zone, the void, the middle-muddle. So many names for the empty place between what was and what is yet to be.
Meeting those who've chosen to participate in my workshop, I'm impressed with their courage, wisdom and humor as they both face what they are going through and are willing to share their journey with others. I'm reminded of an Albert Schweitzer quote, impart as much as you can of your spiritual being to those who are on the road with you, and accept as something precious what comes back to you from them.
While I think it's me offering hope and help to others navigating the wilderness, what they give in return is incomparable and truly precious. I marvel as I watch the human spirit rise to meet the challenges life holds and come through with faith intact, hope renewed and love deepened.
Being in the wilderness can be a lonely, confusing time. There are lessons to be learned, but often we just want out. Many times it seems like the path we're following only goes in circles. However, if we will surrender to the process, the pathway will bring us to our destination.
It's been said that change is the only constant. I believe this is true, but I've also learned change is not the enemy. Change happens on the outside, transition happens inside. The metamorphosis of caterpillar to butterfly happens inside the cocoon. When change brings us to the wilderness, there is opportunity for transformation as we dig deeper to find the hidden gifts, dreams and talents buried in us. We will emerge stronger than we believe ourselves capable of being. Change can be a good thing. We just need some time in the wilderness to discover its potential.
Whether it's an accident, a diagnosis, a sudden death, a pink-slip or any number of other assaults on our psyches, we find ourselves totally unprepared for what's taking place. What do we do? I have a friend who says, "first you breathe." I think first you cry, but I've been told you have to breathe to cry. Ok, I'm not one to quibble. Crying, breathing ... it's all happening so fast.
I facilitate a Transitions workshop that has grown out of my own unexpected change and the lessons learned in the wilderness. What I call the wilderness others call the neutral zone, the void, the middle-muddle. So many names for the empty place between what was and what is yet to be.
Meeting those who've chosen to participate in my workshop, I'm impressed with their courage, wisdom and humor as they both face what they are going through and are willing to share their journey with others. I'm reminded of an Albert Schweitzer quote, impart as much as you can of your spiritual being to those who are on the road with you, and accept as something precious what comes back to you from them.
While I think it's me offering hope and help to others navigating the wilderness, what they give in return is incomparable and truly precious. I marvel as I watch the human spirit rise to meet the challenges life holds and come through with faith intact, hope renewed and love deepened.
Being in the wilderness can be a lonely, confusing time. There are lessons to be learned, but often we just want out. Many times it seems like the path we're following only goes in circles. However, if we will surrender to the process, the pathway will bring us to our destination.
It's been said that change is the only constant. I believe this is true, but I've also learned change is not the enemy. Change happens on the outside, transition happens inside. The metamorphosis of caterpillar to butterfly happens inside the cocoon. When change brings us to the wilderness, there is opportunity for transformation as we dig deeper to find the hidden gifts, dreams and talents buried in us. We will emerge stronger than we believe ourselves capable of being. Change can be a good thing. We just need some time in the wilderness to discover its potential.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Putting Off Until Tomorrow
I was reading a post on another blog - bloggers are so great! - and the line worth the price of admission was to "keep your bucket list short and your fences mended and never put off 'til tomorrow what is truly important to you." I have a tendency to put things off because I think there'll be time for that later. Only sometimes there is NOT time for that later. Later never gets a chance because some things will end today.
Many times it's not that I decided to put things off until tomorrow, but just didn't have - or make - time to include them today. Time flies. Tired cliche' I know, but often true. And suddenly there's tomorrow looming with both its own tasks and good intentions left from today. Even blogging finds a stack of incomplete posts. 11 out of 30 remain unposted. But my writing sometimes take a different turn from where I started and I'm not ready to put that much of myself out there. So my list of blogs grows, but my published ones continue to lag behind. And that's ok. They're teaching me things I need to know.
Going back to the original line that caught my attention, I want to make a bucket list and actually do the things I put on it! For those who understand the term, #1 on my list is my Artist Date. What a concept. Take myself out! If I can't do that how will I ever do anything more adventurous? Now I need someone to hold me accountable - one Artist Date by the 15th ... or at least by the 30th ... hmm, April might be better ....
Many times it's not that I decided to put things off until tomorrow, but just didn't have - or make - time to include them today. Time flies. Tired cliche' I know, but often true. And suddenly there's tomorrow looming with both its own tasks and good intentions left from today. Even blogging finds a stack of incomplete posts. 11 out of 30 remain unposted. But my writing sometimes take a different turn from where I started and I'm not ready to put that much of myself out there. So my list of blogs grows, but my published ones continue to lag behind. And that's ok. They're teaching me things I need to know.
Going back to the original line that caught my attention, I want to make a bucket list and actually do the things I put on it! For those who understand the term, #1 on my list is my Artist Date. What a concept. Take myself out! If I can't do that how will I ever do anything more adventurous? Now I need someone to hold me accountable - one Artist Date by the 15th ... or at least by the 30th ... hmm, April might be better ....
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Home Improvement
Ok ... I've been out for awhile doing some minor adjustments to my living room. I painted the walls a delightful shade of blue, replaced the 20 year old furniture and added an HDTV. I've done what I can to stimulate the economy as well as give my place a new look!
When I shop for furniture, I'm looking first for comfort. Like Goldilocks, I want it to be just right - not too soft, not too firm. When I was in the showroom, the sofa felt just right. However, when it arrived and I sat on it at home, I couldn't get comfortable. I had a moment of panic when I thought of what I had paid for something I couldn't sit on! As I continued looking for ways to sit comfortably on my new sofa, I remembered that I had been sitting on my old sofa for over twenty years! I definitely had a well-worn groove that fit me perfectly - or so I thought.
Because the new sofa is now the only sofa, I have to find ways to adjust. I've plumped the pillows, snuggled in the corners, bounced in the middle and generally been working to make the new feel like the old. Ah, but it's not the old! I got rid of the old because it was no longer working for me. The well-worn groove was creating its own discomfort. And we all know where this is going, don't we?
How many of our old ways are no longer working for us? The familiar patterns and comfortable routines no longer bring the desired results. And yet, it's hard to let go of the way we've always done it. As I learn to settle into the new sofa, I'm finding a new experience of being comfortable. It's not like the old. It has its own feel and you know what? I'm liking it!
When I shop for furniture, I'm looking first for comfort. Like Goldilocks, I want it to be just right - not too soft, not too firm. When I was in the showroom, the sofa felt just right. However, when it arrived and I sat on it at home, I couldn't get comfortable. I had a moment of panic when I thought of what I had paid for something I couldn't sit on! As I continued looking for ways to sit comfortably on my new sofa, I remembered that I had been sitting on my old sofa for over twenty years! I definitely had a well-worn groove that fit me perfectly - or so I thought.
Because the new sofa is now the only sofa, I have to find ways to adjust. I've plumped the pillows, snuggled in the corners, bounced in the middle and generally been working to make the new feel like the old. Ah, but it's not the old! I got rid of the old because it was no longer working for me. The well-worn groove was creating its own discomfort. And we all know where this is going, don't we?
How many of our old ways are no longer working for us? The familiar patterns and comfortable routines no longer bring the desired results. And yet, it's hard to let go of the way we've always done it. As I learn to settle into the new sofa, I'm finding a new experience of being comfortable. It's not like the old. It has its own feel and you know what? I'm liking it!
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